Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Fatherhood

It's been two years since Bug joined our family. It hardly seems like it could be that long ago and it feels like an eternity. Mostly, it feels great; terrifying, overwhelming, joyous, proud, thrilling....
I now understand what people mean when the say a child takes over your life. Bug takes a lot of time and energy. It feels like our job is to entertain, and feed, her and there are no mandated eight hour work days. She is on the go from 6am to 7pm, with a few hours of napping (most days). It is exhausting and frustrating, and yet the most fun I know how to have. It really isn't a job because it is amazing, and tiring and frustrating and head wracking.
The past two years have been and incredible ride. I look at Bug and cannot believe that she was the tiny baby in all the pictures. She is a little girl now. She is talking in sentences; often we have no idea what she is saying, ,but they are definitely sentences. She runs, climbs, feeds herself, and has definite opinions about what she wants and doesn't. Her favorite phrases are "Me do!" and "Why?".
Both phrases are the best and worst of dealing with a two year old. It is great that she is so curious and independent. It is crazy making when she insists on doing things like changing her own diaper or spending 20 minute trying to put a shirt on when we are trying to get out the door for work. Coming up with answers for the tenth why occasionally makes me want to bang my head against a hard surface repeatedly. There are times when I almost resort to the "because I said so" non-answer. When I am quick enough to remember that she can answer questions, I do pull out the "I don't know, do you know why?"
One of the most incredible parts of the journey has been how much it has changed my life. I have developed much better eating habits and started brushing my teeth twice a day. I have learned to be more present in each moment. I have discovered wells of patience I never knew I had. I have learned to be more cognizant of my own behavior and how it effects those around me. Everyday I feel like I've grown a little bit.
The growth springs from my fervent desire to give Bug the best life possible. That means being able to play with her and take her into the wilderness for explorations. I want to instill a love of being active and nature. It means that I need to be a good role model and a good coach. It means being aware of how what we do today effects the future.
Parenthood is, while daunting, frustrating, wearisome, etc, is also the most important, rewarding, and challenging thing I will ever do. It is my labor of love.

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