White Kids Cannot Serve

With all the recent blathering over repealing the 14th amendment to prevent anchor babies and forcing immigrants to produce papers on demand, I got to thinking about coffee.
I frequently stop at McDonalds for coffee in the morning and most often I am served by an immigrant. The server is always polite and efficient. Sure I have to occasionally repeat my order, but not too often.
Recently, I've been subjugated to the service of native born Caucasians. The difference is night and day. The natives are terrible. They are rude, slow, and stupid. I always have to repeat my order at least once and am still not guaranteed to get the right stuff. I usually need to double check my change to make sure it is correct.
It terrifies me that these natives get all the advantages without deserving them. I'd prefer interacting with anchor babies over the sample of natives that I see at the McDonalds. At least they are hard workers.
Maybe we should deport lazy natives. Perhaps we should change the 14th amendment so that criteria for citizenship is being native born it is not being a lazy dumb-ass.

Men Who Stare at Goats

H and I finally got around to PPVing this movie after passing it over several times. I'd like to say it was worth the wait. What it was instead was just mediocre Saturday afternoon cable fare. When we didn't get the chance to finish it, we weren't upset.
It is not a terrible movie, it is just not very good. It takes itself too seriously while being chuck full of tired cliches. I think it was meant to be funny by contrasting the seriousness of the story telling with the ridiculousness of the story. Sadly, it just doesn't work.

Sherlock Holmes

We PPVed the new "Sherlock Holmes" over the weekend. I had high hopes for it since I'd heard good reviews and the cast was solid. Downey, Law, and McAdams usually do solid work. I also figured it would be pretty tough to botch Sherlock Holmes.
I was mostly satisfied. The cast does a decent job with a lame story. Holmes and Watson are like an old married couple. They constantly bicker, but you believe the genuine affection between them. Downey is well cast as the hard living, egocentric, difficult Holmes. Law's stoic and tight laced war hero Watson is a good counter to Holmes. McAdams is OK, but doesn't have the chops to equal Downey or Law.
The plot is the real weakness of the movie. The secret society conspiring to take over the world is tired. I also never believed that the bad guys had the gravitas to fool Holmes. The hinting at Holmes' real enemy lurking in the shadows felt like a set up for a sequel instead of a key plot point.
The retooling of Holmes as an action hero worked well for me. In fact, I felt that the retooled Holmes was better for the big screen than the more Victorian Holmes. The action Holmes made the movie more of an escapist flick.
Overall, "Sherlock Holmes" was well worth the six bucks it cost to PPV. It may well have been worth full price if I'd had a rough week at work.

Invisible Shield Failure

Since my iPhone 4 is so pretty, I didn't want to hide it in a cover. I did, however, want some protection for it. The best rated product I could find was Zagg Invisible Shields. They are supposedly clear plastic covers that prevents scratches.
I found them to be a total waste of money. Installing them is a process that is hard to get right. It also involves water.... Needless to say I was totally paranoid for awhile after doing the install.
It made my phone look cheap. It is shiny and the ends didn't lie flat. The edges kept pealing up and I couldn't use a bumper.
The worst part was that it made the awesome screen of the iPhone look crappy.
I cannot recommend these.

Daybreakers

Daybreakers starts from the now popular premise that vampirism is caused by a disease and spreads rapidly. It then asks the question "What happens when the food (humans) run out?"
In the movie the vampires have either turned too many humans or have fed on too many of them. Vampires that are not getting enough human blood regress into a subhuman form. The society relies on corporate run human farms that slowly drain the blood from living humans. The army's primary mission is to round up stray humans.
To stave off the coming starvation, scientists are desperately hunting for a suitable blood replacement. One scientist thinks that discovering a blood substitute will mean the end of hunting humans. The more pragmatic vampires know that humans will always be hunted. He thrill of the real thing is just too strong.
While the underlying ideas are interesting, the movie does not go too far in examining them. Instead it sticks pretty close to accepted norms. The bad guy is greedy, immoral, and cowardly. The good guys are noble, smart, and strong. The resolution of the problem is both miraculous and reaffirming of the basically good nature of humanity.
That does not mean that the movie is no good. If fact, I found it quite enjoyable. The acting is strong and the characters are well drawn. The cinematography maintains a nicely dark aura.
Daybreakers is well worth the six dollar PPV fee.

Iron Man 2

H and I finally saw Iron Man 2. We had read the reviews, but hoped that they were just the typical stuffy reviewer tripe.
It wasn't. The movie is a mess. The creators attempted to cram way too many story lines and too many characters into a single movie. There are, if I counted right, five story lines vying for attention. There is an attempt to work them all together, but it never pans out. The net effect is that most of the story lines seem tossed in for no good reason except to further Marvel's need to push its other movie properties. The extra bits burry the bits that made Iron Man a good movie.
The whole Shield story line feels bolted on to pimp for Thor, Capt. America, and the Avengers. While Scarlet is nice to look at, her character serves no purpose worthy of the amount of screen time she gets. Samuel Jackson's Nick Fury is underwhelming. Pulling this fluff would free up needed time to make the rest of the movie better.
I never bought the Stark is dying story line either. It feels like a gimmick to explain the need for the new atom and the behavior that allows Rhodie to steel War Hammer.
The flaws do not get in the way of the movie being a fun romp. Downey and Paltrow are excellent together. In fact, the best parts of the movie involve Stark and Potts. Micky Rourke is fantastic as the baddie. The effects and action sequences rock - literally. The movie is very loud.
I left the movie feeling hopeful for the third movie. The lard piled on by Marvel couldn't destroy the strength of the franchise and by the time the third film comes out Marvel won't need to pimp other movies.

Splice

I'm a sucker for a smart science fiction movie that deals with ethical and moral issues, so Splice was high on my to see list. It is a tail in the mold of Frankenstein. Two scientists create life by splicing animal DNA together. Not satisfied with creating non-human blobs, they then add in some human DNA. From that point on, you can predict the direction events take.
Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley are brilliant as the over ambitious scientists. Their characters are troubled, complex, and flawed in many ways. However, you root for them because they are essentially good people. Their relationship with each other and with their creation is as complicated as the plot is simple. In fact it is the characters and their relationships that propel the movie forward.
The plot is predictable and not overly original. You know from the beginning where this will all end. As the creature matures, things get predictably complicated and predictably bad. The creature develops more quickly than predicted; it becomes increasingly hard to manage; it becomes more intelligent and independent than predicted; it doesn't die as quickly as predicted. As the scientists try to control things they only get crazier.
Of course part of the the crazy has to do with basic flaws in the scientists themselves. Brody's character cannot say no. Polly's character has conflicted feelings about children and parenting. This makes the whole situation even more complicated.
I loved the movie. The issues it brings up are real and scary. Scientists will create a transgenic human simply because they can. That is how science moves forward. People pushing the envelope of what is possible and what is moral and what they can control. Add in the dash of complicated characters and you've got a smart, well crafted sci-fi movie.